Letting go. What a challenge those two words are for me. When I think about it, I have trouble letting go in just about every aspect of my life. Not just the emotional things, but the physical things too. Like giving up a job I am no longer able to do and letting someone else take over. It is so incredibly difficult for me to give up control, and I wonder why that is. Is it a ‘mum’ thing? Or is it something I’ve always done, something that is deeply ingrained in my personality? It’s certainly an issue I have felt God challenge me about lately.
Controlling everything in life is impossible, so why do I continue to try? I know as a Christian that God is the only one who can do it, yet I am always challenging His authority. Sometimes I imagine Him just shaking his head at me in absolute frustration. Like I do to my children. Funny how the irony of that never seems to sink in! There are countless times in my life where if I had just taken a moment to listen and ask God what to do instead of trying to fix everything myself, the outcome would have been a lot less painless.
Wanting to control things is usually a response to fear. It’s our way of trying to protect ourselves and those we love from getting hurt. That’s why letting go is so scary. It’s like a free-fall into the unknown. But the thing we have to realise is, we were never really in control in the first place. It’s just an illusion. There is only one person in charge, and that is God. He already knows every facet of our lives, every detail of our existence and trying to control that ourselves is actually saying to God “I don’t trust you and I can do this better”. I can tell you from my own experience that is definitely not true.
Making choices and having boundaries in our lives is healthy, it’s when we try to be in charge of everyone and everything that we run into trouble. How much fun is it to be around a controlling person? Don’t you get tired of being told when, where and how to be? Usually the more someone tries to control you, the further they push you away, and that is the opposite of what they want. Really what they are saying is they feel insecure and they hang on out of fear and mistrust. I don’t want that type of relationship with anyone, but I especially do not want it with God.
Letting go and putting complete trust in God does not come naturally for most of us. It is human nature to want to be in control of our lives. That is why God gave us the choice. Choose Him and surrender, or choose the hard way. Not that surrender is necessarily easy, but believe me it’s better than the alternative. The world can be a scary place, but I’m learning to trust God when fear takes hold. I don’t know what the future holds; I just know that whatever it is He will be there with me.
There are circumstances in my life right now that I wish I could fix. Situations that have been left unresolved and play on my mind, things I wish I had done differently. But there is no going back in time. These things are all an exercise in trusting God, and giving him control over the timing. He knows what I don’t, and rushing in to fix everything is not always the way. Sometimes it’s better to wait, though patience is not one of my virtues either! It may be difficult, but I am learning that it will all happen is His time. My job is just to let it go…………and Let God.
“Wait on the Lord; be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!” (Psalm 27:14)